I joined MOPS this fall (Mothers of Pre-schoolers). It's a time to drop off your toddlers with the child-care workers and hang out with other equally-exhausted mothers. My favorite part of the entire time is afterwords. After listening to the great speakers, after chatting with the moms... My favorite part is watching (and joining) all the moms try and gather their children and get them loaded into the vehicles outside. Seriously, the chaos is amazing. It feels like there are hundreds of toddlers and babies in the hallways. There's the pleading with toddlers to get coats on, pleeeease, and then the carrying, pulling, schlepping all the diaper bags, purses, strollers, and children as fast as possible. Because for many, it's nap time and these mini-people are all on the cusp of absolute and very public melt-downs. And so are many of the moms.
It's great knowing that all these well-dressed women went to the trouble (and I mean TROUBLE) to do their makeup and hair, and get in their best semi-casual clothing. And get their kids ready, too. Our meeting is at 9am. It's a total miracle we all get there (mostly) on time AND smelling good. Seriously, can we just NOT worry about looking good for each other? How bout a jammie-no-makeup-bed-head day? That will very much not happen. It's nice getting having to get dressed twice a month, I guess.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Baby makes 4...!
Emmett James... born 10-11-11 at 4:42am (4 hours and 42 minutes past the due date!). 21 inches long.
I labored on and off the day before and was in hard labor the night before at about 8pm. I waited at home, not believing I was in labor! I timed the contractions at 10 minutes apart for 2 hours in bed until they hurt too much to wait any more. And when I sat up to relay this info to Jer, the contractions intensified even more and were instantly 2-3 minutes apart! Holy crap, I was in labor! It was 30 minutes to the hospital. HARD labor. Contractions on top of each other! Jer called ahead to make sure I would be able to get an epidural if I was already really dialated. They were ready with an IV when I got there, praise God. I was 7 centimeters, and within an hour or two (soon after the epidural), was 10 centimeters. We waited for baby to drop for a few hours. At about 4:30am, the midwife went to break the water, and the sack of water came out in tact. I had never heard of this and they had ONLY heard of it! Kind of cool. And less messy.
The room was dimly lit. Calm. Jer at my side ready to announce the gender. We saw at the same time (after barely pushing - and actually being told NOT to push most of the time). We both exclaimed "It's a boy!" at the same time, and I was holding him in my arms!
My sister was at our house sleeping so Ava could stay in her own bed. They came later in the am to meet baby boy.
I don't have much time (or energy!) to write more at the moment. Emmett is perfect. Ava is adjusting easily. I now have 4 piles of laundry to fold. And all is well...
I labored on and off the day before and was in hard labor the night before at about 8pm. I waited at home, not believing I was in labor! I timed the contractions at 10 minutes apart for 2 hours in bed until they hurt too much to wait any more. And when I sat up to relay this info to Jer, the contractions intensified even more and were instantly 2-3 minutes apart! Holy crap, I was in labor! It was 30 minutes to the hospital. HARD labor. Contractions on top of each other! Jer called ahead to make sure I would be able to get an epidural if I was already really dialated. They were ready with an IV when I got there, praise God. I was 7 centimeters, and within an hour or two (soon after the epidural), was 10 centimeters. We waited for baby to drop for a few hours. At about 4:30am, the midwife went to break the water, and the sack of water came out in tact. I had never heard of this and they had ONLY heard of it! Kind of cool. And less messy.
The room was dimly lit. Calm. Jer at my side ready to announce the gender. We saw at the same time (after barely pushing - and actually being told NOT to push most of the time). We both exclaimed "It's a boy!" at the same time, and I was holding him in my arms!
My sister was at our house sleeping so Ava could stay in her own bed. They came later in the am to meet baby boy.
I don't have much time (or energy!) to write more at the moment. Emmett is perfect. Ava is adjusting easily. I now have 4 piles of laundry to fold. And all is well...
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
College of Life?
There are days I miss college. But then I start to realize that I've continued on to Graduate school without realizing it.
To replace the fellow students and professors, I now have my little girl spurning me on to know MORE and be BETTER. And my husband to be that fellow student, sharpening me and making me think.
To replace the 80 pound textbooks, I have just-as-thick cookbooks and notebooks filled with recipes. And how-to-be-a-better-parent books, highlighted to their brims.
I still have the lack of sleep and late nights "studying" (a.k.a. meal planning, and worrying).
And now, there is more life under my belt. And my life feels deeper. More meaningful. And more relaxed. Knowing that we're all figuring it out as we go - especially we parents - makes me calm down and not worry so much about getting it all perfect. We'll be ok. In this new University.
To replace the fellow students and professors, I now have my little girl spurning me on to know MORE and be BETTER. And my husband to be that fellow student, sharpening me and making me think.
To replace the 80 pound textbooks, I have just-as-thick cookbooks and notebooks filled with recipes. And how-to-be-a-better-parent books, highlighted to their brims.
I still have the lack of sleep and late nights "studying" (a.k.a. meal planning, and worrying).
And now, there is more life under my belt. And my life feels deeper. More meaningful. And more relaxed. Knowing that we're all figuring it out as we go - especially we parents - makes me calm down and not worry so much about getting it all perfect. We'll be ok. In this new University.
MOPS, pumpkins, zoo, a wedding, and our anniversary!
No more renters in the house. Such peace! I haven't felt this homey in my house for a long time.
And it was all in time for our anniversary this weekend, and our soon-to-come baby!
Friday it was my first time at MOPS in the am. It was cute and so nice to chat with other mamas, and Ava got to play with tons of other kids her same age. And, in the afternoon, it was totally time for the pumpkin patch! We played and ate messy caramel apples, and it was a perfect day.
Saturday afternoon and night we hung out at a friend's wedding. It was in a park pavillion on a river, and was beautiful! Ava played all evening with the other kiddos at the little park and got good and messy! There are no pics yet, because we left our camera (moment of panic). It is traveling with the bride and groom on their honeymoon, and will be back Wednesday. Until then, phones are taking its place.
Yesterday, I made myself get up early with my Jer and our Ava at 6am. We chilled in the house for a bit, and then drove up to Oshkosh. It was breakfast at Golden Corral (better breakfast than I would've thought), then to the little zoo, and a quick stop at Goodwill. And it was time to drive 25 minutes back for Ava's nap.
The afternoon was relaxation, laundry, football, and moving our living room things into the actual large living room downstairs (instead of it all being in one of the upstairs bedrooms). A half-price Chicago-style pizza for dinner at home while we listened to the rain outside.
I'm feeling total urgency to do fun stuff before baby gets here. THREE weeks to go! (Less than that would be good, too).
What an amazing weekend with my little family. And so nice to come home to... no one.
And it was all in time for our anniversary this weekend, and our soon-to-come baby!
Friday it was my first time at MOPS in the am. It was cute and so nice to chat with other mamas, and Ava got to play with tons of other kids her same age. And, in the afternoon, it was totally time for the pumpkin patch! We played and ate messy caramel apples, and it was a perfect day.
Saturday afternoon and night we hung out at a friend's wedding. It was in a park pavillion on a river, and was beautiful! Ava played all evening with the other kiddos at the little park and got good and messy! There are no pics yet, because we left our camera (moment of panic). It is traveling with the bride and groom on their honeymoon, and will be back Wednesday. Until then, phones are taking its place.
The afternoon was relaxation, laundry, football, and moving our living room things into the actual large living room downstairs (instead of it all being in one of the upstairs bedrooms). A half-price Chicago-style pizza for dinner at home while we listened to the rain outside.
I'm feeling total urgency to do fun stuff before baby gets here. THREE weeks to go! (Less than that would be good, too).
What an amazing weekend with my little family. And so nice to come home to... no one.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
"I sad, mumma make me happy."
While we were pretending today,
Ava: "I sad. Mumma make me happy." (Totally being silly and pretending, but I flashed forward in my head to so many times that she'll be sad. And realized that I wouldn't be able to fix everything with a kiss and a hug and a silly joke.)
In my serious state of mind, I smiled: "Aww, mumma can't make Ava happy! You make Ava happy!"
I was a little somber. Poor kid. But she was fine and still pretending and silly. She kind of ignored my statement. Probably because it was a little beyond a 2 and a half-year-old. And, in her own way, she was like, "Mom, you're a dork. I'm just playing." :)
Ava: "I sad. Mumma make me happy." (Totally being silly and pretending, but I flashed forward in my head to so many times that she'll be sad. And realized that I wouldn't be able to fix everything with a kiss and a hug and a silly joke.)
In my serious state of mind, I smiled: "Aww, mumma can't make Ava happy! You make Ava happy!"
I was a little somber. Poor kid. But she was fine and still pretending and silly. She kind of ignored my statement. Probably because it was a little beyond a 2 and a half-year-old. And, in her own way, she was like, "Mom, you're a dork. I'm just playing." :)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
polyvore creating
I found polyvore.com the other day, and, along with pinterest.com, it's my new favorite internet addiction!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
August food plans...
Soooo, I tried to alternate recipes with ones that took more preparation, and then ones that were super simple. I also tried to alternate meat types. I found that even the ones with more ingredients and prep didn't take me a crazy long time, though!
Weeks 1-2
1. Chicken, Spinach, Goat Cheese Quesadillas with Avacado sour cream.
2. Brats with bagged salad.
3. Creamy Burrito Casserole.
4. Chili Dogs, side of green beans. (Bought canned chili)
5. Steak and mashed potatoes (I sear the steak, and then cook it 4 min each side in a combo of 1/2 c. balsamic vinegar and 1/2 c. red wine. Sooo good.).
6. Pizza (canned sauce, wheat tortillas, mozzerella, and desired toppings).
7. Chicken Crescent Roll Casserole. (Very, very rich. And YUM!)
At this point, we didn't use any more of the planned meals, because we ate a lot of leftovers! Here are the rest of the meals I had planned for that week. I made the Fettuccine Alfredo the next week, and still haven't made the other two.
8. Fettuccine Alfredo.
9. Spanish Chicken and rice bake.
10. Beef Stroganoff.
Weeks 3-4
1. White Bean and Portobello Mushroom wrap. (LOVE. I grill mine on the stove at the end, too.)
2. Chicken Gyros. (Bought pre-made tzaziki sauce, and pan-grilled the chicken. Filled pita bread with those ingredients plus tomatoes. If you feel super ambitious, follow the link.)
3. Burritos. (In one pan: Ground beef, cooked instant white rice, black beans, refried beans, taco seasoning, tomato juice, salt, and anything else you want in your burrito. Cheese for top.)
4. Stuffed peppers. (I'm going to use same filling as for the burritos!)
5. Spaghetti.
6. Spinach and Cheese Strata. (I couldn't afford Gruyere Cheese! You can use swiss.)
7. Beef Stroganoff.
8. Frozen pizza.
* for snacks and sides, I made a big batch of hummus. And we eat lots of fruit. And I buy a big bucket of ice cream. And sometimes make cake or cookies from ingredients I have at home.
Weeks 1-2
1. Chicken, Spinach, Goat Cheese Quesadillas with Avacado sour cream.
2. Brats with bagged salad.
3. Creamy Burrito Casserole.
4. Chili Dogs, side of green beans. (Bought canned chili)
5. Steak and mashed potatoes (I sear the steak, and then cook it 4 min each side in a combo of 1/2 c. balsamic vinegar and 1/2 c. red wine. Sooo good.).
6. Pizza (canned sauce, wheat tortillas, mozzerella, and desired toppings).
7. Chicken Crescent Roll Casserole. (Very, very rich. And YUM!)
At this point, we didn't use any more of the planned meals, because we ate a lot of leftovers! Here are the rest of the meals I had planned for that week. I made the Fettuccine Alfredo the next week, and still haven't made the other two.
8. Fettuccine Alfredo.
9. Spanish Chicken and rice bake.
10. Beef Stroganoff.
Weeks 3-4
1. White Bean and Portobello Mushroom wrap. (LOVE. I grill mine on the stove at the end, too.)
2. Chicken Gyros. (Bought pre-made tzaziki sauce, and pan-grilled the chicken. Filled pita bread with those ingredients plus tomatoes. If you feel super ambitious, follow the link.)
3. Burritos. (In one pan: Ground beef, cooked instant white rice, black beans, refried beans, taco seasoning, tomato juice, salt, and anything else you want in your burrito. Cheese for top.)
4. Stuffed peppers. (I'm going to use same filling as for the burritos!)
5. Spaghetti.
6. Spinach and Cheese Strata. (I couldn't afford Gruyere Cheese! You can use swiss.)
7. Beef Stroganoff.
8. Frozen pizza.
* for snacks and sides, I made a big batch of hummus. And we eat lots of fruit. And I buy a big bucket of ice cream. And sometimes make cake or cookies from ingredients I have at home.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Pinterest. Bedrooms.
Pinterest.com
I'm a little addicted. Some bedrooms I've found there.
I'm a little addicted. Some bedrooms I've found there.
warm and cozy.
vintage cute.
Love.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
8 weeks to go, WI summer, and shielding my 2-yr-old from meanies.
I haven't felt very write-y.
But, I can't let that stop me.
8 1/2 weeks until my due date. It's felt like a short pregnancy. Maybe this is because much of my pregnancy was during Wisconsin's short-feeling summer. Summer is gulped here. Where people living in milder weather can spread their frivolity out over most of the year, we have about 4 months. Maybe. Resorts are booked all summer. As are any tourist towns. Wisconsin Dells and Door County are overrun with hoards of people needing to thaw the winter off of themselves. We usually do our getaways in spring and fall, desiring to miss out on the overwhelming-ness of the tourist season.
I suppose, though, no matter where one lives, summer is the time to have fun. Kids are out of school, and places of interest can charge double what they would in the "off" season. Maybe we Northerners just appreciate it a tad more.
Speaking of being prego. I'm out of breath easier, and I move slower, and I can't get super comfy at night. I've always lain on my arms - which are under my pillow. At this point in pregnancy, my arms fall asleep in this position now. Which is just annoying. I'm reach tiredness faster, too. But, other than those few things, I'm really loving being pregnant! I couldn't say that at all with pregnancy #1. This time, after about 14 weeks, the nausea faded. I had some severe emotional issues here and there. Maybe once a month or a little less. Now, since reaching the 3rd trimester, it's been pretty awesome. Oh. And heartburn. That too.
Ava. I've never been able to figure out how to record her awesomeness. I want to find words. And enough words to describe her. And how I feel about her. She's only been on this earth for 2 years, and it's ridiculous how much she impacts mine and J's life. And the lives of others! She brings light and joy wherever she is. I get so sad when her feelings get hurt now - this is a fairly new development, being aware of other kids' insensitivity. Older kids get annoyed with her sometimes. Or they want to boss her around. Usually other kids are pretty great, but there are moments... And she picks up on it. And she reacts with frustration. The other day, a boy about age 10 didn't want her to play with him at the park. He kept telling her 'no', 'don't', and 'I think your mommy wants you'. My heart just busted all apart. She was just saying 'hi' and waving and trying to play the wall-mounted tic-tac-toe with him on the playground. When she finally understood that he was annoyed, she plopped sadly on the ground. "Come here, Ava." I sing-songed sweetly. "No!" and she flopped her hands about, frustrated and hurt.
I can hardly handle it when these little things happen. I don't know what I'm going to do when there are far deeper emotions and hurts in her life. I want to shield her, and I also want her to face it all and learn to be strong, and rely on Jesus. Her truest Friend. Right now, I mostly want to shield her and keep her away from kids who don't appreciate her. And I want to tell kids how awesome she is, and that they just need to be kind and patient. That she's little, but she's not dumb. She's sensitive and feels their rejection. *sigh*
For now, I'm glad I get to be her best mommy-friend. She, once in a while and out of the blue will say "You're my best friend." And for now, I'm soaking it in. I'm loving being fully accepting of her (as I always will!), and praising her, and building her up. And disciplining her with lots of love. And just being glad that, if no one else truly knows her, I get to. For now.
But, I can't let that stop me.
8 1/2 weeks until my due date. It's felt like a short pregnancy. Maybe this is because much of my pregnancy was during Wisconsin's short-feeling summer. Summer is gulped here. Where people living in milder weather can spread their frivolity out over most of the year, we have about 4 months. Maybe. Resorts are booked all summer. As are any tourist towns. Wisconsin Dells and Door County are overrun with hoards of people needing to thaw the winter off of themselves. We usually do our getaways in spring and fall, desiring to miss out on the overwhelming-ness of the tourist season.
I suppose, though, no matter where one lives, summer is the time to have fun. Kids are out of school, and places of interest can charge double what they would in the "off" season. Maybe we Northerners just appreciate it a tad more.
Ava. I've never been able to figure out how to record her awesomeness. I want to find words. And enough words to describe her. And how I feel about her. She's only been on this earth for 2 years, and it's ridiculous how much she impacts mine and J's life. And the lives of others! She brings light and joy wherever she is. I get so sad when her feelings get hurt now - this is a fairly new development, being aware of other kids' insensitivity. Older kids get annoyed with her sometimes. Or they want to boss her around. Usually other kids are pretty great, but there are moments... And she picks up on it. And she reacts with frustration. The other day, a boy about age 10 didn't want her to play with him at the park. He kept telling her 'no', 'don't', and 'I think your mommy wants you'. My heart just busted all apart. She was just saying 'hi' and waving and trying to play the wall-mounted tic-tac-toe with him on the playground. When she finally understood that he was annoyed, she plopped sadly on the ground. "Come here, Ava." I sing-songed sweetly. "No!" and she flopped her hands about, frustrated and hurt. I can hardly handle it when these little things happen. I don't know what I'm going to do when there are far deeper emotions and hurts in her life. I want to shield her, and I also want her to face it all and learn to be strong, and rely on Jesus. Her truest Friend. Right now, I mostly want to shield her and keep her away from kids who don't appreciate her. And I want to tell kids how awesome she is, and that they just need to be kind and patient. That she's little, but she's not dumb. She's sensitive and feels their rejection. *sigh*
For now, I'm glad I get to be her best mommy-friend. She, once in a while and out of the blue will say "You're my best friend." And for now, I'm soaking it in. I'm loving being fully accepting of her (as I always will!), and praising her, and building her up. And disciplining her with lots of love. And just being glad that, if no one else truly knows her, I get to. For now.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Cafe. again...
I've been quietly pricing supplies and doing research on types of cafes, and business plans. Today, I took Ava for a walk (which I haven't done forever because it's too hot out for my pregnant-ness). Coincidentally, a neighbor down the way had tons of restaurant supplies for sale. Metal kitchen counters. Cash register. Pub/bistro tables and chairs. The things I've been secretly perusing online.
The other day, I saw this building for sale on Main Street, and I love it! Not my first choice of locations. And really, not gonna happen cuz I'm about to have a baby here. And we still have to sell our house. But, it's what I'm thinking about - apartment above, business below. On a busy corner. No parking lot, though. And no wheelchair access. But still. Close to what's in my head.
As I've gotten a little older, it doesn't seem so impossible. Why NOT? Right now, it's time for babies. And I'm loving that! Maybe as they get closer to school-age, and I MAYBE need to chase them less... we'll see.
Right now, it's fun to think about!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Something important from Ava. Also, channeling toddler anger.
She's 2 1/2. When she's pretending to talk on the phone, or wanting to say something serious... she says variations of the following:
"thirteen, fourteen"
"six minutes"
"two dollars"
"well..." (followed by mostly unintelligible sentences)
She is also known for clearing her throat importantly whilst holding a fist up to her mouth, as is proper when one is clearing one's throat.
Other things.
When I ask if she needs help with something (after she has struggled for a while to do a button...etc.), she sometimes says "ME help you!" Which means, "I'm going to do it by MYSELF!"
Today, she prepared herself to climb over the back of grandma's couch, and I explained that we can't do that anymore because it's breaking the couch (I showed her a rip). She said, "Ok, I be careful." (She's already logically making cases for why she's still going to do what she's planned to do! She did good, though, when I said 'no', she listened.)
On the topic of anger and tantrums. She doesn't have many, really. But she does holler and scream (not high-pitched, thank God) sometimes. And she's started flopping on the floor once in a while (I ignore that, for the most part). But here's the thing... I want her to express frustration. I don't like when we stifle our kids and teach them that being angry is BAD. So, how do I help her (at just 2 years old) start to channel the frustration? I don't know. I tell her that I understand she's angry. (The other day, she growled in frustration and actually said, "I angwy (angry)", and I was so proud of her for being able to say that at 2-years-old!) And I tell her not to throw things. Today I said, very firmly, "No, there is no throwing toys when we're mad!" She got a big ol' pouty lip and held back big ol' tears. It was like I broke her heart when she was just feeling frustrated and didn't know what else to do! Poor baby. I felt bad, but didn't know how to show her the right way to be mad. I said, "When you're mad, you can throw that teddy bear cuz he's soft and can't break." But that was probably wrong, too. It's probably not great to tell her to throw crap when she's mad.
I'm sure there are resources. I'll look it up. For today, it was my new question.
"thirteen, fourteen"
"six minutes"
"two dollars"
"well..." (followed by mostly unintelligible sentences)
She is also known for clearing her throat importantly whilst holding a fist up to her mouth, as is proper when one is clearing one's throat.
Other things.
When I ask if she needs help with something (after she has struggled for a while to do a button...etc.), she sometimes says "ME help you!" Which means, "I'm going to do it by MYSELF!"
Today, she prepared herself to climb over the back of grandma's couch, and I explained that we can't do that anymore because it's breaking the couch (I showed her a rip). She said, "Ok, I be careful." (She's already logically making cases for why she's still going to do what she's planned to do! She did good, though, when I said 'no', she listened.)
On the topic of anger and tantrums. She doesn't have many, really. But she does holler and scream (not high-pitched, thank God) sometimes. And she's started flopping on the floor once in a while (I ignore that, for the most part). But here's the thing... I want her to express frustration. I don't like when we stifle our kids and teach them that being angry is BAD. So, how do I help her (at just 2 years old) start to channel the frustration? I don't know. I tell her that I understand she's angry. (The other day, she growled in frustration and actually said, "I angwy (angry)", and I was so proud of her for being able to say that at 2-years-old!) And I tell her not to throw things. Today I said, very firmly, "No, there is no throwing toys when we're mad!" She got a big ol' pouty lip and held back big ol' tears. It was like I broke her heart when she was just feeling frustrated and didn't know what else to do! Poor baby. I felt bad, but didn't know how to show her the right way to be mad. I said, "When you're mad, you can throw that teddy bear cuz he's soft and can't break." But that was probably wrong, too. It's probably not great to tell her to throw crap when she's mad.
I'm sure there are resources. I'll look it up. For today, it was my new question.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Belly hiccups and sudden DIY.
Baby in my belly had hiccups for the first time last night just as I lay in bed (at least, the first hiccups I could FEEL). It's so darn cute! And just now, the second ones just ended. I love the little perfectly timed movement. It's just as reassuring as hearing the heartbeat.
Crafts.
We bought that nasty child bike trailer and I'm replacing the mesh windows. I just received the mesh the other day, and last night I cut out the old windows and traced new ones on the new mesh. Just need to sew in the new windows, and we're ready to go! Also, we need to find Ava's helmet. And then we're ready.
My step-mom called to ask me for a project the other day. My grandma - her mom - is in a nursing home, and is not mobile. She's also mostly paralyzed on her left side from a stroke. She gets cold in the home, and the nurses struggle putting sweaters on her. She can be a little difficult. It's hard enough to get her in her chair to take her to meals. So, my step-mom asked if I could knit her a poncho so the nurses can just pull it over her head. I told her a knitted one could be done in a month or so. People sometimes don't realize how long knitting can take, and so we decided on a sewn poncho made of super warm fleece.
It's going to be pretty awesome. I have the fleece. Now, I just have to cut it and sew it, and then, done.
I'm still not keen on the knitting. But today I bought ultra-clearanced yarn. As motivation. Or something.
Crafts.
We bought that nasty child bike trailer and I'm replacing the mesh windows. I just received the mesh the other day, and last night I cut out the old windows and traced new ones on the new mesh. Just need to sew in the new windows, and we're ready to go! Also, we need to find Ava's helmet. And then we're ready.
An example of our trailer. If it were new.
My step-mom called to ask me for a project the other day. My grandma - her mom - is in a nursing home, and is not mobile. She's also mostly paralyzed on her left side from a stroke. She gets cold in the home, and the nurses struggle putting sweaters on her. She can be a little difficult. It's hard enough to get her in her chair to take her to meals. So, my step-mom asked if I could knit her a poncho so the nurses can just pull it over her head. I told her a knitted one could be done in a month or so. People sometimes don't realize how long knitting can take, and so we decided on a sewn poncho made of super warm fleece.
The pattern I'm using as a guide. Making just the waist-length one.
It's going to be pretty awesome. I have the fleece. Now, I just have to cut it and sew it, and then, done.
I'm still not keen on the knitting. But today I bought ultra-clearanced yarn. As motivation. Or something.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
why do you do the thing you do
I was thinking about jobs.
How it's interesting that there are always seem to be people employed in all of the various careers (in America, at least). How is it that we each end up in the career we're in? Some feel called, but mostly I think it's a matter of circumstance.
My mom has always been a jack-of-all-trades, so maybe that's why I tend to need to switch jobs after a couple years. Sometimes people just plain need a job, so they talk to relatives or friends, and now, because of a job opening at an uncle's company, they clean pools for a living. And somehow this randomness works when it comes to distributing people fairly equally into all multitudes of jobs. It's kind of cool to think about.
But then I thought, how much more awesome is it when a person whose circumstance and inherited traits guides them to a certain career path, and they have the amazing courage to turn a different way? Instead of using so-called natural talents to do something they hate - like managing a small business - they choose to do something much more difficult because they love it - like singing professionally.
And maybe even more amazing are the people who find themselves in a career they initially hated. A job they thought they'd leave in a few months. And then, after some time, they find that they're exactly where they want to be.
How it's interesting that there are always seem to be people employed in all of the various careers (in America, at least). How is it that we each end up in the career we're in? Some feel called, but mostly I think it's a matter of circumstance.
My mom has always been a jack-of-all-trades, so maybe that's why I tend to need to switch jobs after a couple years. Sometimes people just plain need a job, so they talk to relatives or friends, and now, because of a job opening at an uncle's company, they clean pools for a living. And somehow this randomness works when it comes to distributing people fairly equally into all multitudes of jobs. It's kind of cool to think about.
But then I thought, how much more awesome is it when a person whose circumstance and inherited traits guides them to a certain career path, and they have the amazing courage to turn a different way? Instead of using so-called natural talents to do something they hate - like managing a small business - they choose to do something much more difficult because they love it - like singing professionally.
And maybe even more amazing are the people who find themselves in a career they initially hated. A job they thought they'd leave in a few months. And then, after some time, they find that they're exactly where they want to be.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Night #2
Didn't sleep till 2am. Baby girl up at 5:30am.
Yes, this happened earlier in pregnancy, and at many other times as well, so I'm not completely new to lack of sleep. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Yes, this happened earlier in pregnancy, and at many other times as well, so I'm not completely new to lack of sleep. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Three sweet girls and running on fumes
I kept myself awake last night. Today I was to watch my two nieces (ages 3 and 4), along with my 2-year-old. (I did end up watching them.) Also, a certain relative has been on vacation, and will be coming back soon, along with all the drama that comes with that certain person. Drama that my emotions haven't been able to handle very well lately.
Also, out of my control was that I was having some false labor for the first two hours of the night. Painless, but worrisome. I couldn't help but think about how I'm only 27 weeks along - just barely far enough for baby to make it if labor would continue. At midnight I was still trying to formulate a plan to get me, husband, and little girl to the E.R. in the middle of the night if need be (because I'd want Jer there, but would hate to wake up baby girl and make her try and sleep in an uncomfy waiting room). Or, what if it was during the day and Jer was out of town. What would my sweet two-year-old do while at the E.R. with just me? I tried thinking of people I could call. So, all THAT thinking kept me even more awake. And the longer I was awake, the more I worried about having to take care of three little girls all day. They were due to come at 7am.
Of course, these feelings were all accentuated by my heightened emotional state. I was up most of the night, with a few short snatches of sleep. I prayed tired little prayers here and there. Finally I just said, "God, please just BE me tomorrow. Be my mouth, so I don't get short-tempered with the little girls or say something stupid to the 'relative'. Be my emotions and hold up my tired body." It was good to let go.
I got a little sleep after that. That was maybe 2:00am. And then the thunderstorm woke me up at 3:30ish. And then, Jer accidentally smacked me in the face with his blanket at about 4am. And at 4:45, Ava was awake because of the "under" (thunder).
Today, I had more caffeine than is recommended. And, thanks to my very nice God, I was unnaturally patient and kind all day. The relative isn't home yet. We'll see how that goes at a later date. But, the stress has lessened. The girls were SWEETHEARTS! No major fights, lots of hugs and hand-holding. And the 3-year-old niece's only potty accident happened just when my sister arrived. Perfect timing. ; )
My sister got off work a little early - at 1:30 or so, instead of 3:30. Jeremy was also just getting home. I found out that he called Anna today a couple times to gather information on when she again needs me to watch the girls. And he told her that he wasn't sure if I was going to be ok to watch them tomorrow (today that was still a tentative plan). He told me today, too, that he really didn't want me to have the girls a second day in a row by myself. Sweet husband. I guess my exhaustion showed through even more than I thought. (I was seriously trying to limit my whining). Anna found someone to fill in for her tomorrow.
At 3:30pm, I was in dozing on the couch with Ava lying by my side and my husband sitting nearby. At 5pm, I was in bed and Ava was having some time with her daddy. I awoke at 8pm, and here I am. Nearly ready for bed, but waiting until I'm sure I'm good and tired, so that last night isn't repeated because I'm just too rested to sleep.
It's been a rather internally dramatic time this past couple of days. Tomorrow is going to seem so boring. Thank God for that.
Also, out of my control was that I was having some false labor for the first two hours of the night. Painless, but worrisome. I couldn't help but think about how I'm only 27 weeks along - just barely far enough for baby to make it if labor would continue. At midnight I was still trying to formulate a plan to get me, husband, and little girl to the E.R. in the middle of the night if need be (because I'd want Jer there, but would hate to wake up baby girl and make her try and sleep in an uncomfy waiting room). Or, what if it was during the day and Jer was out of town. What would my sweet two-year-old do while at the E.R. with just me? I tried thinking of people I could call. So, all THAT thinking kept me even more awake. And the longer I was awake, the more I worried about having to take care of three little girls all day. They were due to come at 7am.
Of course, these feelings were all accentuated by my heightened emotional state. I was up most of the night, with a few short snatches of sleep. I prayed tired little prayers here and there. Finally I just said, "God, please just BE me tomorrow. Be my mouth, so I don't get short-tempered with the little girls or say something stupid to the 'relative'. Be my emotions and hold up my tired body." It was good to let go.
I got a little sleep after that. That was maybe 2:00am. And then the thunderstorm woke me up at 3:30ish. And then, Jer accidentally smacked me in the face with his blanket at about 4am. And at 4:45, Ava was awake because of the "under" (thunder).
Today, I had more caffeine than is recommended. And, thanks to my very nice God, I was unnaturally patient and kind all day. The relative isn't home yet. We'll see how that goes at a later date. But, the stress has lessened. The girls were SWEETHEARTS! No major fights, lots of hugs and hand-holding. And the 3-year-old niece's only potty accident happened just when my sister arrived. Perfect timing. ; )
niece,mine,niece. pretending to watch a movie while I ordered food.
My sister got off work a little early - at 1:30 or so, instead of 3:30. Jeremy was also just getting home. I found out that he called Anna today a couple times to gather information on when she again needs me to watch the girls. And he told her that he wasn't sure if I was going to be ok to watch them tomorrow (today that was still a tentative plan). He told me today, too, that he really didn't want me to have the girls a second day in a row by myself. Sweet husband. I guess my exhaustion showed through even more than I thought. (I was seriously trying to limit my whining). Anna found someone to fill in for her tomorrow.
At 3:30pm, I was in dozing on the couch with Ava lying by my side and my husband sitting nearby. At 5pm, I was in bed and Ava was having some time with her daddy. I awoke at 8pm, and here I am. Nearly ready for bed, but waiting until I'm sure I'm good and tired, so that last night isn't repeated because I'm just too rested to sleep.
It's been a rather internally dramatic time this past couple of days. Tomorrow is going to seem so boring. Thank God for that.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Planting Dandelions
I'm reading the book "Planting Dandelions" (this link is to her blog), and it is unexpected and transparent. And I LOVE it. I was reading it in the Target-Starbucks area, and I actually laughed out loud and had to look around a little to see if anyone was alarmed. But, was still laughing. So I probably looked more like I was expectantly waiting for all you people to laugh with me.
Definitely, if you're a mom or a wife, read it. But read it if you're not one of those things, too, because it's just the most honest and entertaining thing ever.
Definitely, if you're a mom or a wife, read it. But read it if you're not one of those things, too, because it's just the most honest and entertaining thing ever.
This blog is neglected. Also, bike trailers...
I don't write in here much. I have started 2 other blogs for some reason. Really, I don't know why. Maybe because this one felt far too serious. Or maybe because I just don't feel confident enough to write very much, and the starting of new blogs feels wonderfully fresh. A new beginning kind of feeling.
Ghetto Bike Trailer:
There is just nothing online about this topic.
I'm sure there are many others like me, who bought an old child-carrying bike trailer (for $5.00) that is just in... yucky condition. Mine is the type that still has the hard molded plastic bottom and detachable weather resistant cover. The mesh/mosquito netting is ripped all over the place and besides it being not very functional, is totally ghetto looking.
Soooo, I searched online on three separate and loooong occasions, and found no advice! I found one forum where a lady had the same situation (from a year ago) and there were ZERO responses. I left a message on a bike-trailer-obsessed blog-and-store today, so we'll see if they have any resources to share.
I have officially ordered some all-purpose and very durable mesh online (they have a friendly return policy), and will attempt to replace it myself. We'll see how that goes.
I'll post pics soon. The canopy is currently removed from the trailer. I'll put it back on now that it's been measured, and soon you can see for yourself how horrible it is.
Ghetto Bike Trailer:
There is just nothing online about this topic.
I'm sure there are many others like me, who bought an old child-carrying bike trailer (for $5.00) that is just in... yucky condition. Mine is the type that still has the hard molded plastic bottom and detachable weather resistant cover. The mesh/mosquito netting is ripped all over the place and besides it being not very functional, is totally ghetto looking.
Soooo, I searched online on three separate and loooong occasions, and found no advice! I found one forum where a lady had the same situation (from a year ago) and there were ZERO responses. I left a message on a bike-trailer-obsessed blog-and-store today, so we'll see if they have any resources to share.
I have officially ordered some all-purpose and very durable mesh online (they have a friendly return policy), and will attempt to replace it myself. We'll see how that goes.
I'll post pics soon. The canopy is currently removed from the trailer. I'll put it back on now that it's been measured, and soon you can see for yourself how horrible it is.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
House upgrades...
Our project, our home, our soon-to-be-for-sale thing...
(BEFORE pic of the outside.)
Roof estimate = at least 8500 bucks.
Fence estimate = 2600.
Small kitchen remodel = 600.
Paint for the rest of the house... LOTS.
Now that a certain family member is NOT going to buy the house, it's time to get it ready to sell. Do we wait till after we have the baby to list it so we have more time to work on the house? Or list it now 'as is'? I think option "a".
I cleaned up the driveway area today, and am in the works to make some big ol' planters to fill in some ugly spaces.
I LIKE this stuff! The remodeling! But with not a lot of money (hardly any), it's DIY and crazy creativity. Maybe next time (if there's a next time), we'll buy a much cheaper house, and then we can afford to ENJOY renos and remodels.
(BEFORE pic of the outside.)Fence estimate = 2600.
Small kitchen remodel = 600.
Paint for the rest of the house... LOTS.
BEFORE pics
TO DO
... new counter tops, new sink/faucet, move fridge, get rid of peninsula, make island, paint cabinets white, get a range-hood microwave.
... new counter tops, new sink/faucet, move fridge, get rid of peninsula, make island, paint cabinets white, get a range-hood microwave.
Now that a certain family member is NOT going to buy the house, it's time to get it ready to sell. Do we wait till after we have the baby to list it so we have more time to work on the house? Or list it now 'as is'? I think option "a".
I cleaned up the driveway area today, and am in the works to make some big ol' planters to fill in some ugly spaces.
I LIKE this stuff! The remodeling! But with not a lot of money (hardly any), it's DIY and crazy creativity. Maybe next time (if there's a next time), we'll buy a much cheaper house, and then we can afford to ENJOY renos and remodels.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Perfect 2-yr-old? Yes. : )
Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment and I took Ava (2 years old) with me. It's amazing how much more I noticed my baby's awesomeness when we were out and about. Maybe because I'm aware of the opinions of others, and can kind of look at her through an outsider's eyes, this makes me more attune to all of her cute, quirky, kind ways.
The appointment was quick, and Ava mostly colored. After the appointment, she said 'goodbye' in the way grandma showed her... "See you later! Have a good day! Adios! Auf Wiedersehen! Too-da-loo! Bye! Ciao! ("cow")" Her little 2-year-old pronunciations are so great!
We then went down to the lab and on our way, we passed an 80-something-year-old woman walking toward us. Ava, walking in her jaunty, shoulder-bobbing way, didn't miss a stride as she looked up at the woman and waved, "Hi, Grandma!" and continued on her way. 'Grandma' smiled and said 'hello'. At the lab, I checked in, and then Ava saw the stairs. So, she started climbing. I told her she needed to come right back down, and she did stop at the top and listened to me try and convince her that she needed to come down now. She smiled and sweetly said, "al-vee-shayn" ("Auf Wiedersehen", German for "goodbye"). And then she took of running full speed. How could I be mad? She's so darn cute! When we were finally back in the lab, I told her no more running. She sat for a moment, and then wanted to get up and explore. I said, "Ava, no. You're too fast." So, she said, "I go slow." and she shuffled her feet very slowly past me. I had such good laughs yesterday!
My heart is so full to the brim because of this little girl! She's so kind to others, so smiley, so bright and cheerful. She always has been! Gosh, I love her SO much!
The appointment was quick, and Ava mostly colored. After the appointment, she said 'goodbye' in the way grandma showed her... "See you later! Have a good day! Adios! Auf Wiedersehen! Too-da-loo! Bye! Ciao! ("cow")" Her little 2-year-old pronunciations are so great!
We then went down to the lab and on our way, we passed an 80-something-year-old woman walking toward us. Ava, walking in her jaunty, shoulder-bobbing way, didn't miss a stride as she looked up at the woman and waved, "Hi, Grandma!" and continued on her way. 'Grandma' smiled and said 'hello'. At the lab, I checked in, and then Ava saw the stairs. So, she started climbing. I told her she needed to come right back down, and she did stop at the top and listened to me try and convince her that she needed to come down now. She smiled and sweetly said, "al-vee-shayn" ("Auf Wiedersehen", German for "goodbye"). And then she took of running full speed. How could I be mad? She's so darn cute! When we were finally back in the lab, I told her no more running. She sat for a moment, and then wanted to get up and explore. I said, "Ava, no. You're too fast." So, she said, "I go slow." and she shuffled her feet very slowly past me. I had such good laughs yesterday!
My heart is so full to the brim because of this little girl! She's so kind to others, so smiley, so bright and cheerful. She always has been! Gosh, I love her SO much!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
new day
Whew! Ok, so I'm feeling a lot better than I was over the weekend. That was a really rough one.
I, being analytical in nature, am trying to figure out what's made today better. So I can replicate it (silly me; like that'll work). I went to church on Sunday, just for the singing part of things. And though I don't really want to yet make this a habit (see previous blogs), the worship/singing part was really good. I felt a little more reconnected with my Maker.
Also, I blogged (obviously). I felt almost immediately better after that. I guess I really need to just keep writing. To get it all out. Catharsis and all that.
And then there's the unpredictable hormones. I just have to realize I have no control in this area and sometimes the pregnancy is going to kick my butt. It's good to know that the crazed emotions won't last the entire 9 months. This time it was just 3 or 4 days.
Last night nearly killed the good mood I had going yesterday when I talked with a certain family member. I don't know why I try. When she's in her manic, even a simple conversation is ridiculous. Only one of us is actively listening while the other is too much in her own head and problems to really care.
But, then I went and had a GREAT talk with my awesome husband for an hour or so, and felt less like my ideas and feelings were crazy and alien. Thanks, Love.
Today it's snowing, which is just like Wisconsin. At this point, though, we all want spring to just get here. I'm tired of the cold. My spirit is tired of the cold. My bones are cold and need thawing.
I, being analytical in nature, am trying to figure out what's made today better. So I can replicate it (silly me; like that'll work). I went to church on Sunday, just for the singing part of things. And though I don't really want to yet make this a habit (see previous blogs), the worship/singing part was really good. I felt a little more reconnected with my Maker.
Also, I blogged (obviously). I felt almost immediately better after that. I guess I really need to just keep writing. To get it all out. Catharsis and all that.
And then there's the unpredictable hormones. I just have to realize I have no control in this area and sometimes the pregnancy is going to kick my butt. It's good to know that the crazed emotions won't last the entire 9 months. This time it was just 3 or 4 days.
Last night nearly killed the good mood I had going yesterday when I talked with a certain family member. I don't know why I try. When she's in her manic, even a simple conversation is ridiculous. Only one of us is actively listening while the other is too much in her own head and problems to really care.
But, then I went and had a GREAT talk with my awesome husband for an hour or so, and felt less like my ideas and feelings were crazy and alien. Thanks, Love.
Today it's snowing, which is just like Wisconsin. At this point, though, we all want spring to just get here. I'm tired of the cold. My spirit is tired of the cold. My bones are cold and need thawing.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
15 week low...
I am 15 weeks pregnant today.
The nausea is mostly gone. And last week I had 2 really glorious days of feeling happy and light and ready for anything. It may have been the equally great weather we finally had.
Since then, I've mostly been feeling NOT ready. For anything. I really try not to be a downer, it's so easy for me to be that way, really. But I'm down. I'm feeling crappy about myself. And exhausted always. My 2-year-old doesn't notice, I don't think. It's pretty easy to be pretty cheerful with her. She brings out the joy in me with her happy silly ways. And somehow, I can still be patient with her when she gets angry or scream-y. I put on that mother-y-ness and can patiently discipline. I don't know how this will still happen when there's an infant in the mix and I'm a hundred times more exhausted than I am now. Really, on the days when she tests more boundaries than normal, I do the mommy thing and give the time-outs and the serious, firm eye-contact talks. But then I'm more exhausted and my confidence dips even lower.
I feel like I do what I need to do, but I still feel like I'm treading water a bit. By this point in the blog, my midwife would diagnose me with depression and say it's time for some drugs. It doesn't feel that simple. And I really don't want to expose this tiny baby in me to drugs. Just maybe occasional TUMS.
Thank God for Jer who, on the weekends, cleans and launders, does homework, and basically is two parents to Ava so I can sleep in and sit my tired self down. A lot. Really, I don't think I change one diaper on the weekends. Or wash one dish. And I'm not the brightest light to be around, either. Poor man. I notice I don't make much eye contact, don't really talk much. Lately when he asks if I'm ok, I say things like, "The answer is the same as it's been. I'm tired. I'm pregnant." Or, "I don't have an answer. Stop asking." If I were him, I would ask 'are you ok' all the time, too. I want to be better for him. He compliments me constantly, like always. On my looks, my joy, my mothering...etc. He's amazing for still being so sweet. I guess he just knows me. He knows that I'm hard on myself, and that when I say, "Stop asking," it's not in annoyance at him; it's that I feel bad for acting so depressive all the time, and I don't want to say sad things all the time.
Tomorrow is Monday, and I've mostly been dreading Mondays. Being spoiled all weekend, and knowing that it'll end just... sucks. But I make it, and it's good. Ava is awesome. Even at 6:13am.
The nausea is mostly gone. And last week I had 2 really glorious days of feeling happy and light and ready for anything. It may have been the equally great weather we finally had.
Since then, I've mostly been feeling NOT ready. For anything. I really try not to be a downer, it's so easy for me to be that way, really. But I'm down. I'm feeling crappy about myself. And exhausted always. My 2-year-old doesn't notice, I don't think. It's pretty easy to be pretty cheerful with her. She brings out the joy in me with her happy silly ways. And somehow, I can still be patient with her when she gets angry or scream-y. I put on that mother-y-ness and can patiently discipline. I don't know how this will still happen when there's an infant in the mix and I'm a hundred times more exhausted than I am now. Really, on the days when she tests more boundaries than normal, I do the mommy thing and give the time-outs and the serious, firm eye-contact talks. But then I'm more exhausted and my confidence dips even lower.
I feel like I do what I need to do, but I still feel like I'm treading water a bit. By this point in the blog, my midwife would diagnose me with depression and say it's time for some drugs. It doesn't feel that simple. And I really don't want to expose this tiny baby in me to drugs. Just maybe occasional TUMS.
Thank God for Jer who, on the weekends, cleans and launders, does homework, and basically is two parents to Ava so I can sleep in and sit my tired self down. A lot. Really, I don't think I change one diaper on the weekends. Or wash one dish. And I'm not the brightest light to be around, either. Poor man. I notice I don't make much eye contact, don't really talk much. Lately when he asks if I'm ok, I say things like, "The answer is the same as it's been. I'm tired. I'm pregnant." Or, "I don't have an answer. Stop asking." If I were him, I would ask 'are you ok' all the time, too. I want to be better for him. He compliments me constantly, like always. On my looks, my joy, my mothering...etc. He's amazing for still being so sweet. I guess he just knows me. He knows that I'm hard on myself, and that when I say, "Stop asking," it's not in annoyance at him; it's that I feel bad for acting so depressive all the time, and I don't want to say sad things all the time.
Tomorrow is Monday, and I've mostly been dreading Mondays. Being spoiled all weekend, and knowing that it'll end just... sucks. But I make it, and it's good. Ava is awesome. Even at 6:13am.
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