Also, out of my control was that I was having some false labor for the first two hours of the night. Painless, but worrisome. I couldn't help but think about how I'm only 27 weeks along - just barely far enough for baby to make it if labor would continue. At midnight I was still trying to formulate a plan to get me, husband, and little girl to the E.R. in the middle of the night if need be (because I'd want Jer there, but would hate to wake up baby girl and make her try and sleep in an uncomfy waiting room). Or, what if it was during the day and Jer was out of town. What would my sweet two-year-old do while at the E.R. with just me? I tried thinking of people I could call. So, all THAT thinking kept me even more awake. And the longer I was awake, the more I worried about having to take care of three little girls all day. They were due to come at 7am.
Of course, these feelings were all accentuated by my heightened emotional state. I was up most of the night, with a few short snatches of sleep. I prayed tired little prayers here and there. Finally I just said, "God, please just BE me tomorrow. Be my mouth, so I don't get short-tempered with the little girls or say something stupid to the 'relative'. Be my emotions and hold up my tired body." It was good to let go.
I got a little sleep after that. That was maybe 2:00am. And then the thunderstorm woke me up at 3:30ish. And then, Jer accidentally smacked me in the face with his blanket at about 4am. And at 4:45, Ava was awake because of the "under" (thunder).
Today, I had more caffeine than is recommended. And, thanks to my very nice God, I was unnaturally patient and kind all day. The relative isn't home yet. We'll see how that goes at a later date. But, the stress has lessened. The girls were SWEETHEARTS! No major fights, lots of hugs and hand-holding. And the 3-year-old niece's only potty accident happened just when my sister arrived. Perfect timing. ; )
niece,mine,niece. pretending to watch a movie while I ordered food.
My sister got off work a little early - at 1:30 or so, instead of 3:30. Jeremy was also just getting home. I found out that he called Anna today a couple times to gather information on when she again needs me to watch the girls. And he told her that he wasn't sure if I was going to be ok to watch them tomorrow (today that was still a tentative plan). He told me today, too, that he really didn't want me to have the girls a second day in a row by myself. Sweet husband. I guess my exhaustion showed through even more than I thought. (I was seriously trying to limit my whining). Anna found someone to fill in for her tomorrow.
At 3:30pm, I was in dozing on the couch with Ava lying by my side and my husband sitting nearby. At 5pm, I was in bed and Ava was having some time with her daddy. I awoke at 8pm, and here I am. Nearly ready for bed, but waiting until I'm sure I'm good and tired, so that last night isn't repeated because I'm just too rested to sleep.
It's been a rather internally dramatic time this past couple of days. Tomorrow is going to seem so boring. Thank God for that.
No comments:
Post a Comment