I've been thinking about things it would've been good to know by the time I was out of high school and starting on my own. Things that maybe I could teach my kids about earlier on.
Like:
Gardening, Cooking/Nutrition, Cleaning (laundry, fabric surfaces, hard surfaces...etc), Organizing, Auto repair, Home repair, Insurance, Loans/Mortgages, Investing, Saving money/Budgeting, First Aid...
These seem boring, but they would be so helpful to learn about before being thrown into life.
And other important stuff like:
- Kindness always matters. Always, always. No matter what anyone else (ANYONE ELSE) may say or act like, it always matters.
- Write 'thank-you' notes. A.k.a. - Be thoughtful and considerate.
- Self-evaluate. Go to counseling, read books. Self-improve. But also know that it's ok to mess up and BE a mess. We're all learning as we go.
- Pray and read the Bible. All that self-improvement doesn't mean a thing if it's forced. You need God to genuinely change you from the inside.
- Don't be afraid. Of criticism or of failure. The strongest and wisest people are the ones who can be taught without getting offended.
- Learn patience. If you can be slow to anger with parents/siblings/close friends, you're learning self-control and patience which will save you from TONS of hurt and drama.
- Don't talk about people. Each person has IMMENSE value. Even if they act mean and cruel. This one's difficult. Talk TO people, not ABOUT people. If someone offends, be calm. Think. Pray for strength and patience. And then talk to the offender. If they're still mean, walk away. Don't get bogged down in drama with those people! Pray for them and keep your distance. And, be kind. :)
All this to say, you have power over your emotions. Just because you're feeling out of control doesn't mean you have to ACT out of control. This world is full to the brim of people who just say whatever they feel and DO whatever they feel. Feelings are an indicator that something is going on, not a free pass to act on every emotion.
And, confusing as it is, sometimes it's awesome to throw self-control out the window and just give in to the emotion. Emotions are God-given and can be glorious.
The trick is to learn when to use self-control and when to fling it out the window. I heard a quote once that said something like:
"The times I ache to speak out are usually the times to hold my tongue. And the times I want to keep silent are usually the times I should speak up."
Passion feels good, but it's easily misdirected into relationships with people. Flawed people. If you throw all your passions into a romantic relationship, that other person will fail you (because they're human!) and you'll feel hugely let down. Throw some passion there, but don't place all your expectations of fulfillment there. Only God can fulfill. It's not fair to put that pressure on a human. Me and my husband agree - there's no such thing as a soul mate. There are just people with whom you're super compatible with.
You get to choose who you end up with. You don't "fall" in love. You choose to be in love. It sounds so unromantic! But it's not. Me and J are crazy in love! We know we belong together forever (10 years so far). There's lots of passion and love. We just know it's more than feelings. It goes far deeper than that. And how much more romantic is it to know that we CHOOSE each other every day!? It's pretty awesome.
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